Your total, allocated the way real weddings spend it — with the per-guest lever exposed
| Category | Typical share | Your allocation |
|---|
Wedding budgets fail from two directions: no allocation (the venue eats 70% before the photographer is hired) and no buffer (the "little things" total $3,000). This planner allocates any total across the twelve categories the way real weddings actually spend — venue and catering taking their honest 45% — computes the per-guest number that silently governs everything, and reserves the 10% buffer that separates budgets from wishes.
| Category | Share | On $30k | Reality note |
|---|---|---|---|
| Venue & catering | ~45% | $13,500 | $85–250/head all-in is the market; bar service is 20–30% of it |
| Photo & video | ~11% | $3,300 | The only category you keep forever — cut last |
| Flowers & décor | ~8% | $2,400 | The word 'wedding' doubles florist quotes; 'event' doesn't |
| Music | ~7% | $2,100 | DJ $1–2k, band $3–8k |
| Attire, rings, paper, cake, transport, favors | ~19% | $5,700 | The nickel-and-dime zone — set caps early |
| Buffer | 10% | $3,000 | Overtime fees, alterations, tips, the tent when rain threatens |
Cut freely: favors (thrown away), elaborate invitations (photographed, recycled), ceremony programs, champagne toast pours (guests toast with what they have), the upgrade tiers on linens/chairs. Couples report regretting cuts to: photography, the planner/coordinator for day-of (the sanity line item), and guest comfort (shade, heaters, food timing). The buffer exists so the regretted-cut list never gets raided under pressure.
Median lands ~$33–35k; averages run higher (big weddings skew the mean), metros higher still ($50k+ NYC/LA). More useful than any average: your per-guest number vs your market's per-head catering floor — that comparison decides feasibility in one division.
The old etiquette split is mostly gone: most couples pay a majority themselves with partial family contributions. The functional rule: contributions arrive as gifts with amounts and any strings NAMED early — a $10k gift 'for the venue we prefer' is a different gift than $10k.
Set the cap FIRST (from budget ÷ per-head cost), split allocations between families explicitly, and apply one filter consistently ('have we both met them?'). Every +10 guests is another table: catering, rentals, flowers, favors, cake — ~$1,200-2,500.
Liability coverage (~$100-300) is often venue-required. Cancellation/postponement coverage (~$300-600) makes sense for deposits at risk (vendor bankruptcy, weather, illness) — read what's excluded. For $30k+ of non-refundable deposits, it's cheap.
Any vendor demanding full payment far ahead, no contract, or cash. Standard: 25-50% deposit, balance near the date, everything in writing. Pay by credit card where possible — chargeback rights have rescued many couples from vanished vendors.
The per-guest logic inverts beautifully: 20 guests at a restaurant with a great photographer runs $5-10k all-in and cuts nothing that surveys say couples regret. It's the highest-satisfaction-per-dollar format in the industry — worth pricing honestly before dismissing.
Yes — every figure computes locally in your browser.
Guest count, date, format — decide those three with the per-guest math in view, protect the buffer and the photographer, and the rest of wedding planning becomes logistics instead of debt. The marriage doesn't remember the centerpieces; neither will you.